Maldon District: Bereaved dad organising charity football match at Heybridge Swifts in aid of Baby Loss Awareness Week

By Ben Shahrabi 9th Oct 2023

Simon Johns (pictured inset) set up a football team for dads and families affected by baby loss, called FC Vilomah. (Images Courtesy: Miles Girdlestone)
Simon Johns (pictured inset) set up a football team for dads and families affected by baby loss, called FC Vilomah. (Images Courtesy: Miles Girdlestone)

A bereaved father is organising a free charity football match to be held at Heybridge Swifts on October 15, to mark Baby Loss Awareness Week.

Kick-off will be at 2.30pm, with a minutes' silence held beforehand. FC Vilomah, a club set up for bereaved dads and families in Essex, will play against a team of Essex Freemasons formed especially for the match.

Miles Girdlestone and his wife Sarah lost their baby in May 2022. August Spencer Girdlestone was born sleeping at Broomfield Hospital, at 36 weeks and 2 days.

Sarah and Miles were supported by the hospital's bereavement team at the 'Blossom Suite'. The facility helps grieving parents cope with the loss of their baby.

Miles told Nub News: "While we arranged his funeral, they arranged for us to return to the Blossom Suite to spend some time with him. It's a safe place where you can be open with your emotions."

While staying at the Blossom Suite, Miles came across posters for FC Vilomah. Since joining, he has helped raise funds with the support of the Essex Freemasons, of which he is a member.

"After the support I received when I needed it, from the Blossom Suite and the players at Vilomah, I decided to raise awareness and funds for them," Miles said.

Heybridge Swifts' Scraley Road stadium will host the charity match in aid of Baby Loss Awareness Week. (Credit: Ben Shahrabi)

The fundraiser began in October last year, backed by the Essex Masons. So far, it has raised more than £25,000, which has been donated to the Blossom Suite. It is hoped that the funds can go towards purchasing a specialised scanner for Broomfield's maternity ward and bereavement suite.

Further donations from family, friends and employers have totalled over £2,000. Those funds haven been split between FC Vilomah and the Blossom Suite.

The founders of FC Vilomah have set up a charity now in its own right. They hope to get to a stage where they can help fund free counselling services for grieving parents.

"Having a professionally qualified person you can talk to is important," Miles added.

"That's for mums, dads and other family members, too."

St Andrews Church in Heybridge is among several local buildings lit in blue and pink in support of Baby Loss Awareness Week. (Credit: Ben Shahrabi)

Around 30 players regularly turn out for FC Vilomah matches, forming a community of people with shared experiences.

Miles said: "No two people have the same experience. We all have different needs and triggers as to what upsets us, and how we cope with those feelings. If you need help, you can get it."

A couple of players set up a podcast, named Dad Still Standing, about their experiences of baby loss. They won 'Best Parenting Podcast of the Year' at the British Podcast Awards.

FC Vilomah founder Simon Johns was recently nominated for a BBC Essex 'Make a Difference' award, in the Fundraiser category. The team itself won an award for 'Grassroots Project of the Year' in 2022.

Entry to next week's football match is free, although donations will be gratefully accepted.

A raffle is planned to be held at the match. Tickets should be purchased in advance, and will be available through the Facebook page. Prizes include a signed Premier League team football, tickets for the Britain's Got Talent semi-final, as well as various other generous donations.

Further raffle donations are still being accepted. For more information, visit the FC Vilomah Facebook page.

Baby Loss Awareness week runs from Monday 9 October to Sunday 15 October. A 'Wave of Light' service will be held at All Saints Church in Maldon, at 6.45pm, to mark the final day.

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